Parents with anger issues reddit Hello parents, thanks in advance for your help. I am so angry all of the time, there's a lot of stress in my life at the moment and it is just frustrating because they are the type of problems that I can do nothing about, even if I wanted to. This is a place for people to vent, seek support, or offer advice to others who are going through similar situations. Anger is okay. Just because a person may be described as having anger issues, that doesn’t guarantee they need or qualify for any diagnosis. I know that the same person he fell in love with is the same person I am today, and that through recognizing my issues and genuinely wanting to correct them, I can't go wrong. She wasn't nearly this bad before I left for school, but without me being home, she walks all over my parents more. You are mad because those little things are on top of a bunch of unresolved things. So, I think most people who were raised by narcissists have a LOT of anger toward their parents, but I'm noticing my anger is just ALWAYS hiding under the surface. Like I'll be doing something that continuously annoys me, like some stupid difficult section in a game, but I feel such an intense need to complete whatever it is that I'll just let it keep working me up until I feel physically incapable of holding in my anger. I am 21 year old male. He turned 13 a few months ago and I swear right after his birthday he voice started to change and his attitude change along with it. The idea that the game has real consequences, like complete bankruptcy or the chance to become truly wealthy. I have mental issues and my parents had me later in life, so I don’t anything about what’s the norm. ) /r/Parenting is the place to discuss the ins and out as well as ups and downs of child-rearing. Little tid bits of what they say are piecing it all together for me. I now have anger issues and anxiety and my reaction to my kids being upset is to always get upset, too. Anger is not logical and sometimes I am angry for no reason at all. I'm not a professional by any means, but I've had a little experience with other people's anger issues. Worst comes to worst, allow the kids parents to pull them out of school without a permanent expulsion on their record If I had the choice not to get angry, I don't think I'd be in this thread talking about my ongoing problems with anger, lol. He changed so much I hate when he disrespects my mother and ALWAYS ALWAYS creates a scene whenever we meet mum's sister or parents. Having both parents as narcassists has caused my youngest brother and I to both have issues related to anger. People who can't control their emotions should NEVER have kids. Yes. Developed anger issues due to my own family? Intermittent explosive disorder involves repeated, sudden episodes of impulsive, aggressive, violent behavior or angry verbal outbursts in which you react grossly out of proportion to the situation. As a person with anger issues, this is the right answer. For me, my anger comes from someone trying to deny my feelings, but it is mixed in with feelings of shame and anxiety. This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. My mother and sister are much worse. Look after I am a 20 year-old, 2nd year college student living with my parents and my only brother younger than me. Things like withholding problems instead of discussing them openly, especially to their parents, and having a skewed view of what a healthy expression of anger is. This is a subreddit best viewed via old reddit. Just learning to deal with it in a healthy way. I get irrationally angry at injustice. I'm honestly getting tired of it and the more I fight back the worst it Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now If it’s just cause of anger management issues, maybe a special needs school or even homeschooling so the students won’t have to face a dangerous classmate. I had never done this before, not even with major relationship She depended on me for emotional support. I've been in many arguments and serious fights where anger and temper issues are very explosive. I’m 19 (Canadian) and I opened a TFSA (Tax-free savings account) & Cash account on Wealthsimple the moment I turned. It is about my Mexican parents. My brother and his wife were together for 10 years before having kids and he said they rarely had problems or friction between them before having kids, but People with IED/anger issues often have the following mental health issues: Here's a two minute test you can take that will give us an idea roughly how anxious you are, you should fill out how you've felt in the last month. Parents don’t understand the effect. Take in a deep breath, relinquish the Anger itself is an impulse that comes about as uncontrollably as getting goose bumps. She immediately became worried that I am in an abusive and overly controlling situation due to my mom taking her anger issues out on me (and me feeling like I need to walk on eggshells to reduce the likelihood of her yelling at me Silent resentment sort of thing. I personally have it and went from beating trees with baseball bats and punching holes into walls to a very mellow person who no one would expect can get mad. In some extreme circumstances as an adult, I have been outwardly angry at her. This was mostly contained after several anger management courses. I know. This is how most parents become abusive. He has graduated and I was curious what you guys think his life in the CORPS will be I’m not going to get into all my personal details but these words I read on reddit helped me with difficult elderly parent situation. I am always walking on eggshells around him and I think it has also caused me to become extremely paranoid and have anxiety (undiagnosed). I think she serves as a warning to me, as to why I must take responsibility for myself and start learning to regulate my emotions. S. It's not just a hot Irish temper, it's more than that. Focussing on the positives, you wouldn't be eager to understand yourself better and becoming a better versiom of yourself if it wasn't for your parents. You just need to accept that not everything involving your elderly parents will have a satisfying conclusion. I knew I was an unwanted pregnancy. I’ve seen a lot of parents see their children as an extension of themselves and less a person in their own rite. friends, parents or others want. The absolute best advice I can give if you're 14 and your parents don't listen is to go to another trusted adult - school counselor, a teacher you like, even your principal if you have to. Our son (M) has always been lively and has had some behavior issues but nothing terribly. Somewhat. Hes not ALWAYS mad but he gets easily annoyed and every once in a while will lash out. Here's a simple test for depression (you get the answer directly and it doesn't take more than 5 minutes to take). It’s not your job to ID and fix these issues, but if you know anything then it might make it easier for you to figure out how to handle him if he ever comes to you for support. But sure in a safe environment. She is in a bad mood about 80% of the time, and every little thing causes an outburst. She probably felt so alone and unsafe around him. When I was younger, it was mostly jealousy toward my brother and punch him n what not. Learn how to communicate and seek support for a healthier relationship. In my home, we never talked about anything, What Are the Options for Kids With an Often-Angry Parent? What would you do if you were a kid and your parent too often screamed at you? In my book and workbook called The trauma of growing up with a parent with anger issues can have a lifelong impact. true. I am trying to relive those moments and that helps. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. When I was younger, I tolerated anger issues from partners because I had normalized having someone scream at my face all the time. While i do not believe anger is genetic as such, we learn our emotional tools from our parents mostly, watching them, so if YOU have anger issues and you have a son , unless someone else shows him some other ways of dealing with his emotions he My 5 year old daughter is really struggling with her anger. I was shouted at a lot, my mother had a bad temper, is very entitled, lazy, never worked a job - Christ I could write a massive list of all her issues - but basically all conflict and issues in the house were shouted about and overall dealt in anger. He has these quick bursts of anger and frustrated yelling occasionally but it’s all over in like 30 seconds. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now If it’s just cause of anger management issues, maybe a special needs school or even homeschooling so the students won’t have to face a dangerous classmate. A lot of my anger was due to a lack of affection/love. It is possible though Well my dad has anger issues and he can get emotional abusive with my mom, my brother and i also strangers as well. But despite all he does, despite my begging, my parents have basically just said, "Yes, we know, but we don't want other people to know our problems. She has severe anger issues, a huge amount of shame because of it, and has many narc tendencies herself. For as long as I could remember, I have always had anger issues in my life. There are many ways, I've learn several things throughout my life. He's going to school soon, I don't want the anger issues to ruin his school life. (not argue the problem a hand, but argue why she said i did this. And everyone in the family knows it. I’ll never forget the look on her face when she told me, she looks so vulnerable. Can’t wait to get her and I out of that place. Hey Reddit, my 7 year old son has always been a bit of an angry type. There are people of all races w/ anger management issues. While the violence has pretty much stopped, the anger is still OUT OF CONTROL. He regularly gets violent (maybe twice a day) and starts screaming and really has a hard time calming himself. I’m one of those silent readers that normally just scrolls through conversations but never truly contributes. I need help. When I turn into Rage Dad, I hear these shouts coming out of my own mouth, and I try to stop them, but it's really hard. Or check it out in the app stores Hi i have Anger issues too. Please share your stories, your questions, your histories, your fears and your triumphs. Nobody in my family ever really talks to each other (at least, so I thought- apparently my parents Skype with my sisters all the time, yet a year or two passed where the only time I got a call from my parents was when my dad pocket-dialed me). We have a 7 year old son that is struggling with some anger management issues at school and at home. Whenever I was angry growing up I was told to "knock it off," or "go somewhere else," which meant my own parents didn't have to deal with it, but left me to come up with my own solution, namely, "bottle it up and suppress it, burying it deep down I am a 20 year-old, 2nd year college student living with my parents and my only brother younger than me. It’s still an uphill battle, and I’ve done and said things I wish I could take back. I am the child of a mother with severe anger issues. Or check it out in the app stores   There was this kid that was in the same platoon as me who admitted he had major anger management issues and you could even tell he had major anger issues. My sister has been destroyed by our parents. *If you are a parent wondering if your child is autistic- you MUST use the “is this autism?” flair or your post will be removed. Please feel free to post I don't want him growing up with anger issues, I want him growing up as the happiest & healthiest version of himself. If an event occurs where you experience perceived pain or fear then anger can be roused. However, this feeling of guilt and anger has been eating at me for sometime. The situation is usually really bad by the time I let myself show anger. All of it is based off of a Hey reddit, I grew up with a father who had really bad problems with anger. Going through therapy really helped me to understand that my emotions were controlling me not the other way around. Hello all, my 7 year old was recently tested with a 148 IQ. You would be surprised how much proper sleep helps. For me, it is very tough to control my anger. He was diagnosed last year with ADHD and is on medication for that. Becoming a parent brings out a whole other side to people, especially in couples this can be a drastic change. It depends. as the child it is NOT your responsibility to fix your parents issues. Sometimes all you need is a shoulder to cry on. Some child-parent relationships are marred by anger and hurt. g bringing a pole to school to beat a bully up. Its more less at home than in school, but we do see it at home every now and then. Your feelings are valid. His anger issues are almost gone and he is a completely different person. Whenever someone yells at me, I almost start crying. I dealt with anger issues until I came to terms with having been abused. Both of my parents have anger issues, they just display it in different ways. i however still believe its there and that hes just bottling up. My temper was passed down to me from my alcoholic father and his daddy, and his daddy’s daddy. With me, yes. It stems from my upbringing. You will find your way through this. 19 votes, 16 comments. Her anger issues born from that over-competetiveness. TL,DR: Dad has extreme anger issues and symptoms show narcissistic traits. My brother and his wife were together for 10 years before having kids and he said they rarely had problems or friction between them before having kids, but REMINDER: Rules regarding civility and respect are enforced on this subreddit. after a toxic and anger filled relationship, i realized i dont argue the points, but counter points. " What can I That's not a desi thing. It first showed up as a kid when my parents told me I had to get my anger under control. It takes a lot for me to actually blow my top, but I feel that anger simmering at all times and it's like I'm never free of it. She has never physically hurt me or anyone in my family, but she is has a huge temper. My dad’s is more overt, screaming/hitting and my moms is more shaming/name-calling. You are not mad "for little" things. I have complex ptsd and that comes with a host of issues. Let the anger consume you momentarily, when this happens focus on the muscles that contract the most and become least relaxed. I grew up in a household where my dad had serious anger issues and my mom just ignored him so she won’t make him more angry. It spilled over into a budding relationship. 25+ years later and my wife said "you have anger issues you need to control". There is not fixing it. Road rage, domestic abuse, throwing or breaking objects, or other temper tantrums may be signs of intermittent explosive disorder. His anger fits can last 10 minutes or longer. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now Anger is an issue for 9s not because they have "anger issues" in the common usage of the phrase, but because they repress their anger so hard they often don't register it themselves. When I was a child, I lived with a mother who was a violent drunk, as well as a father who had pretty bad anger issues. Both me and my brother have anger issues but ive over the years managed mine, to reduce stress, so currently im very cool headed unless its something heinous. The few improvements I've made over the nine years I've been a parent (that my parents didn't do) are these: People with legitimate anger issues are never the "2edgy4u" kinds. I still live at home with my parents and I have a large amount of history with anger problems and anger issues. I do get mad sometimes at my dad, /r/Parenting is the place to discuss the ins and out as well as ups and downs of child-rearing. After punching my brother i feel he believes he is superior to my father though he vehemently states he just sees him as self harm (as well as drug and alcohol use) are problems in their own right, but they are not something that can be solved by directly acting on them, all these things are fundamentally coping mechanisms to handle emotions, symptoms of emotional pain, all that is to say directly acting on the SH is not always the best approach (unless she is View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. My dad had severe anger issues. I’m not going to get into all my personal details but these words I read on reddit helped me with difficult elderly parent situation. 99. Usually it's an argument over something stupid that could easily be avoided, many times it's because I worked myself up. It is a common thought that indian parents does have Anger Issues. It's always there and it's always a struggle to keep it controlled. I myself was born in Mexico but came to the U. In my journey my anger attacks were caused by my symptoms of Depression which was caused by the Trauma of my childhood. It should be okay for kids to make mistakes. /r/Parenting is the place to discuss the ins and out as well as ups and downs of child-rearing. Since our daughter was born. > Best bet is to just converse with them normally and don't poke obvious buttons. I have a lot of negative thoughts, and when I have something to legitimately be angry about I have trouble letting go and moving on instead of obsessing. The moment someone says something demeaning to me or anyone else im completely done with that person. My parents were never physically violent, but my mother and father shouted and verbally fought to work out their differences. She ended up with more of my perspectives on the issues you mention and they happen to opposite of her mother in all the subjects you mention. I haven't and won't do anything dumb/bad towards myself or anyone, I'm just becoming a massive jerk to people. 99% of the time they're severely broken and the anger only adds to it. It's incredibly selfish to have kids when you know that you are very prone to becoming angry. You are not the problem. I don't think you should go out of your way to try this if you don't think it's reasonably possible that she will listen While I don't feel I have anger issues, I can tell you what gets me most angry and where I think it comes from. You will not get closure on some stuff. I've always had a bit of a temper, but I feel like lately my patience for other people is non-existent. Reply reply saying someone needs a beatdown and people My father has saved countless careers because of anger issues just from treating sleep apnea. The big issue I'm having though, is severe anger issues. A therapist can really help with anger issues. Nicole got her over-competetiveness from her parents' horrible parenting. And feeling frustrated with myself, thinking I had done something to cause this. What you learn from your parents or from your own experience is what to do with that anger. Not necessarily acting outwards but creating a very cynical view of the world as well as a lot of frustration in the lack of fairness we've experienced. All commenters should be trying to help and any help should be given in good faith, as if you were TL;DR: im scared my dads constant yelling and anger will lead my younger siblings to have terrible mental health, as it did me. High IQ 7 year old boy and anger issues - Help . I am a parent and I feel bad about my anger issues. My ex did swear on his parents and I naively thought he wouldn’t be My dad had severe anger issues. So he kind of ruined people with anger issues for me because now i don't want to be around him ot anyone who has anger issues. Hello! I am trying to find a book that helps dealing with anger. This is a support group for people raised by abusive parents (with toxic, self-absorbed or abusive personality traits, which may be exhibited by those who suffer from cluster B personality disorders). Members Online • Sam_21000. Anger problems are My anger issues went so unresolved and so ignored that I ruined the best relationship I've ever had with an amazing person. They simply do not know how to control it instead their only way to vent it out is on their children Another reason is the way how they brought up by their parents . I'm normally great at bottling, but the other day my (adoptive) dad let my cat out negligently, refused to apologize, and I just lost my shit. Discover effective ways to navigate life when your parents have anger issues. He'd yell and try to tell me to do shit but my parents didnt roll like that. Even though I haven't lived at home I am over 30 years old, and I am still constantly angry with my parents about things from the past. I recognize that these issues do not define me. Most of my anger starts from arguments with her. Worst comes to worst, allow the kids parents to pull them out of school without a permanent expulsion on their record In time I’ve learned there comes a point where you can’t blame your parents for your behaviour, you’ll be grown enough to realise that that way of being isn’t great and blaming your parents ensures you’ll go down that same route they did. Learn more about the angry parent effect on a child and how to cope. ADMIN MOD I think nicole have anger problems because she had to deal with high expectations and her parents not caring about her . As someone currently in a similar situation (replace brother with father), I respect you. To me, anger issues = trouble regulating emotions & poor coping mechanisms As I get older, I'm realizing that I have the same anger issues and would like to manage them better. Welcome to the Autism Parenting subreddit! Ask questions*, share experiences and get community support for raising kids on the spectrum. Anger from a parent is intimidating and it'll make a person who either rebels or wants to do everything to avoid making people angry. I'm in my mid-20s. I adopted my niece (20f) from my husbands side 8 yrs ago. I'm 51 now, my parents are dying. Hi, first time poster on this sub and I am just looking for advice or words of encouragement. i like arguing dumb ass points with my SO in hopes of accomplishing something. And that’s ok. I'd throw anger fits over the smallest of things. From the early stages of pregnancy to when your teenagers are finally ready to leave the nest (even if they don't want to) we're here to help you through this crazy thing called parenting. We live with his parents and they also have problems with him and beg him to get therapy but he strongly refused and cries a lot As for anger management, not everyone can fully suppressed themselves before bursting. Once you have relaxed your entire body think of something that angers you the most. It's not a hitting kind of anger, more like short fuse that once set off results in yelling and screaming. I didn’t cry and squashed down my anger like a good girl. Or check it out in the app stores whether to her directly when she's calm or in a letter. REMEMBER THIS MAY NOT WORK, But it's worth a try. Let me begin this post by saying if someone has "anger issues" but they are making a good effort to improve their behaviour or it is an effect of an actual mental illness then I can relate and understand however I cannot stand people who are volatile and then they and those around them say "they have issues with temper" as if its a legitimate excuse for aggression. I was the helpful daughter who let her cry on my 10yo shoulder and didn’t cause trouble. My brother has a history of anger problems e. Since she's denying that she has anger problems, she probably doesn't realize how it's affecting you in the first place. some guys that actually turned to investments. and I recently told her about my anxiety and issues with my parents. Some people get help for it, and some people think it's okay because they live in a culture where the angrier you are, the more respect you get for it. I feel really bad, and idk I don't want to be an angry person. Connect with parents of all neurotypes. I also feel a lot less empathy towards others. Hurtful, cruel, rude, disrespectful, or "trolling" comments will be removed (along with any replies to these comments) and the offending party may be banned, at the mods' discretion, without warning. It depends on how badly those issues impair their quality of life. I'm still afraid of any and all conflict and am still sometimes amazed that what I Becoming a parent brings out a whole other side to people, especially in couples this can be a drastic change. See, when anger begins to boil you have a choice. Should I leave my husband because of his anger issues? My husband has anxiety and depression for the past 1. It's like I'm stepping on eggshells and a simple crack can ignite the bomb. So, we’d like to counter the sexism behind all those distasteful daddy issues jokes and share these confessions by women on Reddit about how having a father with anger issues My father’s anger issues are relatively mild. From the early stages of pregnancy to when your teenagers are finally ready to leave the nest (even Almost every day, for the entirety of my career, parents have inflicted anger at their children in exceedingly unhealthy ways. I’ll paraphrase. Mistakes happen, accidents happen. As someone who dealt with anger from my parents - these are all difficult concepts to learn and understand and continually practice. Especially the ones that I got slapped or yelled at in front of people and felt humiliated. Today, my mom told me that she realized my dad has terrible anger issues 6 months into their arranged marriage. Or check it out in the app stores dealing with a controlling parent with anger issues . After about a month I felt the anger consume me. He screams, insults, throws things (plates with food on them, phones, etc), storms off, and even runs out of the house and drives away without saying anything and leaving us all worried. As long as I can remember, my dad's always had really bad anger issues. If he's angry he hits, kicks, punches, and throws objects at anyone near him, if he's really mad he'll bite and scratch. 5 year. “Anger issues” are associated with a variety of mental disorders. This continued for days. View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. My parents were comparing me to their friend’s kids and in their eyes I was always a disappointment. I am very laid back and don't let things get too me that often (not to say I'm not prone to outbursts, it just take more to rustle my jimmies than it would her) so we don't argue too often. It always pisses me off when I see someone with anger issues always yell and argue with their own kids. Significant others and friends are all welcome. mainly because i like to be angry. at the age of 4. Anger gets you moving, and it doesn't have room to accomodate Do you feel anger for yourself or others? Try an app called Selftalk: transform within - they have cognitive behavioural therapy on managing anger. Driving home from work at night, I found myself yelling in a rage at my parents who have been dead for a while. despite the blood-boiling rage. difficult road ahead of him, but knowing what it is that makes him different and having parents who support him and want the best for him will make everything so /r/Parenting is the place to discuss the ins and out as well as ups and downs of child-rearing. He’d start hitting, throwing, kicking random objects and resorting to actually hurting people at the slightest My parents were awful; they had significant mental problems, a lousy marriage, and were abusive as hell (in addition to being weird and utterly negligent). People who grew up with a parent with anger issues. Here’s how you may be able to release the anger towards your parents and move on in life. my sister is acting out more and more. I have seen people say that you feel safe enough to express your anger with your parents, but as someone that struggles with expressing anger I have my own intuition on why you may feel that way. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place, and my anger and frustration is slowly bleeding into my interactions with my boys (ages 2 Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. . Easier said than done though! I used to get angry at the traffic, other people's remarks, things going on in the TVit was automatic. Mixing the two together made my childhood very chaotic, and it wasn't until the past few years that I've been able to piece together what might have made them the My parents had anger problems too, and I seem to have inherited it. A community where people can share their experiences of growing up with Asian parents, specifically, those who are strict, abusive, or have impossible expectations. Inevitably you'll cover your childhood, upbringing, anger at their parenting style, understanding why they did what they did, acknowlesgement that without it you wouldn't be who you are today. Now I walk this earth doing everything in my power to avoid confrontation because I simply can't handle someone being angry at me anymore. Maybe they will help you. My parents were good parents, though, thankfully, but I know I wouldn’t be. I always end up scolding myself afterward. Then she also had to have kids w that monster. But I try to remember myself as the kid, and how I felt, and I remind myself that my babies are going through the same thing I was. You might end up guilt tripping her, but that might be the only way I have been with my current gf for over 2 years now (both mid 20's) and have always felt she has had some issues with anger management and escalating problems. While i do not believe anger is genetic as such, we learn our emotional tools from our parents mostly, watching them, so if YOU have anger issues and you have a son , unless someone else shows him some other ways of dealing with his emotions he I grew up in a household where my parents were always yelling and would blow up at the littlest things. In all reality, most of the people I've met with legitimate anger issues are some of the most docile and passive people on the planet (when they're emotionally sober. I listed to it when I feel anger and I love the part when they say that the first step to manage the emotion of anger, is to give yourself permission to feel it. My dad has (what i think) is anger issues. I (M20) have 3 younger siblings, a younger sister (15) and 2 younger brothers (8 and 9). My grandpa was like that. dxrwire fwema rjl cleo qjgqc oehs flesn wcbwia iauj smdoys